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Ezer Kenegdo

I am currently reading ‘Captivating’ by John and Stasi Eldredge. I usually have trouble relating to books for women, as I find them cheesy and dripping with sugary romance. I don’t relate well to such things. Though I find the study guide that accompanies the book to be just that, I am surprised by the book itself. I may be ahead of myself, as I am only in chapter two, but this chapter articulates well what God whispered to my soul when I became a Christian.
I have met many Christian men who seem to be of the opinion that women are less important, less intelligent, and less capable than man- after all, woman was made from him, and second. I feel sorry for these men. As a woman, I am well aware of the void that exists without the female contribution.
“…And God created the human in his image, in the image of God he created him, male and female He created them…
And God said to them…”(excerpts from gen. 1:26-28)
John Eldridge takes special note that WE were created in the image of God, and God spoke to both Adam and Eve when issuing the command to be fruitful. He then discusses Genesis 2:18- “The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
He says the words used to describe the creation of Eve are ezer kenegdo. Ezer is only used 20 other times throughout the Old Testament- and the person being described in every other instance- God Himself. The circumstances- extreme desperation for God to come through, or save. (for a couple of examples, see Psalm 20:1-2 and Psalm 33:20) Kenegdo means alongside/counterpart. So, a more accurate translation, as opposed to suitable helper, would be ‘lifesaving counterpart’.
So, do I think women are more important than men? No way! I love my husband, and I know he also serves a lifesaving role for me! I have been married for 9 years, and I know how vital we are to each other. When God created man and woman in His image, he gave us hearts and minds that function very differently- but collectively represent the completeness of a Holy God. So many women in our society have the ‘who needs a man’ attitude. Sure, you can do everything yourself, I know that. I saw my mom do it for years. She was forced to, and she did an awesome job. But it isn’t meant to be that way. There is a balance, strength and protection that is lacking when we are alone. So many men think women are there to serve them, since they (men) are superior and more intelligent. How sad that these men lack the spirit, passion, beauty and balance that a woman brings. I have learned so much from my husband. I respect his calm temper, discernment, and ability to apply the Word of God to our lives daily. He has learned to turn to my time management, keenness to others’ needs, and passion in our service to Christ. When we respect the calling God has given us for what it truly is, not what we make it out to be, I believe we are that much closer to understanding who God is- and He lacks nothing.

Nature vs. Nurture

I have always been a tom-boy. I love to climb, rough house and get dirty. You won’t find much dirt under my nails- I don’t have nails. I am not very sensitive, sentimental or romantic. I’d rather take a trip to Home Depot than get flowers any day.

I studied child development and psychology (and business) for the brief time I spent in college. Many people believe that girls are socialized to play ‘house’, dress and care for dolls, and whatever other ‘girlie’ stuff you can imagine. Boys, on the other hand, are socialized to be brutes, play with cars, and be ‘men’ from a young age. I didn’t agree with this concept completely. Sure, there is some level of ‘socialization’ that occurs, but what, or where does it stem from? Everything, and everybody, has roots.

Our first child was Josiah. A boy. So, I am into experimentation on some level. His toys, from the beginning, consisted of a nice array of colors (pink not excluded), and purposes (dolls not excluded). Once Josiah showed preferences, we catered to those likes. He enjoys music and banging to rhythms, he has a drum set. From 7 months old he could throw a ball with amazing accuracy and speed. He is naturally inclined to help others and meet needs. There was a stage where he wanted to carry around a purse. This did not concern me, afterall, it was a great way to transport Spiderman. Josiah is afraid of spiders, and always follows the ‘rules’. His favorite color is red, favorite thing to do- climb. When he holds a doll, he will cuddle it for a short time before removing it’s head and throwing it aside (don’t freak out, he reassembles them later).

Our second child- Noah (yay, another boy!). Noah is very different than his brother. His favorite color is currently pink. He loves to walk around with his favorite stuffed animal (or baby), and isn’t into climbing. Noah only has one volume, loud. If you are in his way, he will move you. You want to rough house, he will take you down. He has enough testosterone to be secure in his love for pink and babies. You touch that baby, he’ll either take you out with his mind numbing decibels or brute strength. Choose carefully.

By the time I became pregnant with our third child, I had a change of heart. My house, despite equal opportunity toy accommodations, was infiltrated with ‘boy’ stuff. I was ready for some estrogen. I begged God to give me a girl. Along came Zion, my heart’s desire. Zion is currently one year old. She started walking at 10 months. She even has about 10 words under her belt. This is in large contrast to the boys, who didn’t walk until after one (Josiah at 17 months!) and didn’t talk until nearly 3. I have seen Zion grab one of my sandals and put her arm through the heal strap like a purse, carrying it through the house. When she holds a stuffed animal, the head is always up and she pats it’s back. When she is done, she gently places it on the floor, unlike the boys who chuck over their shoulders. If one of the boys is in the bathroom getting a stern talk, Zion stands at the door and cries on their behalf. She is a climber and displays the potential to be a tom-boy like her mom, but not at the negligence of her femininity.

My children have taught me a lot. Despite my fore-mentioned personality, I am very sensitive to my kids’ needs, likes, strengths and weaknesses. I know how to nurture their talents with womanly precision. I dare say that a lot more is due to nature than credited. I believe we were intelligently designed with the intent for our species to not only survive, but thrive.

A Few Braincells Short Of A Complete Thought

It’s no secret, I don’t get enough sleep. Maybe in the neighborhood of 3-6 broken hours a night. Yet, I find myself here typing a meaningless blog at 1:06am. My first blog on this site, at that. I wish I could offer some profound, deep insight on life to spare you from feeling like I have just wasted your time- but I can’t.
Rather than getting the sleep I so desperately need, I am choosing to spend this peaceful, quiet moment awake. In just a few short hours my dear children will arise and fill my home and head with their lovely voices, or, in Noah’s case, battle cries.
So for now, I am enjoying the silence.